John D Gardner
Overland Park, KS
I was in high school from 1979 to 1981. During that time there were a few girls that I thought were pretty decent, who happened to be black. I’m white, and was awkward, lonely, scared, and so forth. I figured that if I asked them out I’d be seen as (A) desperate, (B) crazy, (C) trying to advance some agenda, (D) performing a dare, or (E) all of the above. So I chickened out… to my shame. Since then, I have had relationships with women – color irrelevant – and am now married. But still I wonder – was it lack of guts? Or was I racist without admitting it?
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