Korean Kisses
Our daughter Amber is a tiggie (rhymes with biggie). She is Amer-Asian. Stripped to its essence tiggie is a Korean word meaning non-person, animal, or mixed race. That anyone could hate my child because of her gene pool is beyond me. But in the end, tiggie has the same gut punch value, as does the word nigger.
Eighteen months after our daughter’s birth, my wife, Mi-Ra and I decide it was high time for her to mend the family fence and go back to Korea. We had, after all, eloped and brought a tiggie into the world. Would the two of them be accepted? I could not make it back with them because of my teaching job. I wanted to protect our daughter from what Mi-Ra and I had suffered in Korea. But even in multicultural California, things had not turned out too well for the three of us.
Monterey, California, harbors a world-class bay and Steinbeck’s Cannery Row, but even near flowing tides of opulence ignorance can run deeper than the submarine canyons hidden below the choppy waves. In an Asian store, Mi-Ra had our Amber bundled on her back, Korean style, allowing freedom of movement for the mother. Mi-Ra politely waited in line to check out a twenty-pound bag of brown rice. She smiled with rosy cheeks, basking in the glow of contented motherhood. Two ancient Korean grandmothers shuffled behind her, stopped, and whispered…Tiggie, tiggie, tiggie. A shattered Mi-Ra later related this to me with a darkened soul.
This is in the USA, my god what will happen to the two of them in Korea? It made me reflect upon our own many Korean incidents in the years we lived on Cheju. But the worst of it was Mi-Ra’s family. Her father had died long ago and her five brothers ruled the roost. Once, her third brother had spotted us together. No one knew we dated, I had thought. The next day I couldn’t recognize her. Her lovely head approximated the size of a pumpkin. A bruise the color of a ripe plum underlined her left eye. She walked with pain.
“What happened?”
“Bus accident.” She lied.
“Did you go to the hospital?”
“Yes. Many people did.” She had lied again.
Years later she spilled the beans, but only after that brother had had a stroke. Her brother had seen us together in the town market. He figured she’d dishonor the family by getting pregnant. Then the white devil would abandon her like so many had done during the Korean War. Then she’d have a TIGGIE. So he beat the snot out of her, kicking her in the stomach and pummeling her face.
Now she was returning home… with a TIGGIE. So, I was worried.
* * *
The phone connection wasn’t that good. It crackled and a time delay didn’t help. But I didn’t care. “How’s the flight?” I asked as the acids in my stomach stormed.
“Long.”
“How did Amber do?”
‘O.K, but she has a cold I think. ”
I couldn’t stand it any more, “So what’s your family’s reaction? What did your mom say?”
“They think Amber is beautiful.” Mi-Ra’s voice calm and I almost believed her.
“You’re not lying this time?” I asked.
“No, I swear by the gods.”
That was good. – I swear by the gods. That was our private code. It meant the statement made was a truth to be believed at all costs.
“By the gods?”
“Yes, by the gods. My mother is holding her now.”
“What about wingnut number three brother?’
“He has apologized many times. He bought Amber lots of presents. A gold bracelet and a gold ring. Korean twenty-four carat gold, not American eighteen carat’ she added. “He cried.”
“I still think he’s a bonehead and I want to kick HIM in the head.”
“Since his stroke he can’t walk anymore. These are not good thoughts.”
“What else is going on?”
“Oh, you will like this. I walked in the market today with Amber strapped on my back and a street shoe vendor begged me to leave her with him.”
“Why?”
“He said she is so beautiful that people would stop to praise her and buy many shoes from him.”
“Hmmmm… I’ll call you in a few days. Sah Rang Hae. (love you) Give Amber a kiss for me. Say hi to your mom.”
“O.K. , Sah Rang Hae. Call in three days.”
* * *
The connection was a little better no crackling, but still a time delay echoed.
“So how’s Amber?”
“She has a cold, but a funny thing happened because of that.”
“She’s sick and a funny thing happened?”
“Yes, listen…yesterday I took her to the market strapped on my back. She sniffled and sneezed. I felt a strange movement and turned around quickly. A young businessman had a tissue and he was trying to clean Amber’s nose. He turned bright red when I caught him. I think things are changing here.”
“A businessman, huh. You’re not drinking maek-ju, are you?”
“No” she said, “Oh… here is another one. Today a group of high school girls kept on following Amber and me from a distance. Finally one of them ran up. “‘Here, auntie we bought a bag of candy for your beautiful baby.’ They all smiled and ran away.’”
“You aren’t making this all up to make me feel good?” I asked.
“It is all true. I can’t make it up.”
“Mi-Ra, I’ll call in three days. Same time. Sah Rang Hae.”
“Sah Rang Hae.”
* * *
The connection was great. Not even a delay.
“Mi-Ra, how’s things?”
“I think I’m going to cry.”
The blood rushed to my face and a quick nausea nailed me.
“To heck with Korea! Come home now!”
“No.” she whispered, “No, it is good. Amber and I were in the market for a long time. I was really busy. After three or four hours of shopping I went home. Amber sleeps most of the time when I shop. When I took her home I unstrapped Amber and I saw it.”
“You saw what?”
“A kiss.”
“A kiss? How can you see a kiss?”
“A red lipstick kiss. Somebody in the market kissed her. I don’t know who.”
I was quiet for a while, “You want to stay longer, huh?”
“Can we? My mother is very old now. Your Tiggie is safe.”
“I suppose. I’ll call you in three days. Sah Rang Hae, you two. Hi to your mom.” I said.
“Sah Rang Hae.” She replied.
“Mi-Ra… say hi to that bonehead brother too.”
The end
