Tanisha Henderson
Raleigh, NC
There is perception and then there is reality. What do you do when those lines cross and the reality is you have to live like the perception is true? Case in point: Miami-Dade Police handcuffed and choked a 14 year old boy because he gave them “‘dehumanizing stares,’ clenched his fists and appeared threatening.” The perception is that any angry black man or boy is dangerous and will react violently, so the police reacted like this was a fact. Pause. I have seen angry black men, they are intimidating at a glance. Pause again. So now, how do I, a mother to two black boys and an auntie to 2 black boy teens, respond? Dr. Gregory McGriff, a 50+ year old black doctor in NC says that as a grown man, he is still careful to follow advice he received as a young boy — to avoid any kind of behavior that would bring him to the attention of police. So now as he raises his 13 year old son, he gently reminds him that the rules might be different for a young black man, and advises him to never, ever do anything that would attract the attention of police. Good news, times have changed. Back in the day, this 14 year old would’ve been lynched. Today, he will only receive a criminal record. Only?! I cringe when I say it, but the reality is, you can’t disrespect the po-po, especially as a black man. The reality is that black boys and men ARE perceived as dangerous, intimidating, and threatening…sometimes consciously and sometimes subconsciously. Unfortunately, media and reality( 1 in every 15 African American men are incarcerated, 72% black children born to unwed mothers) have made the perception of suspicious black men a discussion that Calvin and I will soon have with our children. Most likely, we will be teaching them that there is perception and then there is reality. You, my sons, will have to live like the perception is true and react accordingly. But not forever. Hopefully, Nathanael and Josiah will not have to say these same words to their sons. Amen.
