Diama Gabriel
Miami, FL
I’m in between waters. I’m not African American for the black Americans, and I’m not a Latina for the Latino community. I’m a proud black Puertorrican woman who moved to USA 13 years ago. Upon my arrival to the States, I lived in a mainly African American community in Miami but never felt welcomed because I’m ‘Spanish’ according to African Americans, so I was different and not black. But I didn’t felt welcome to the Latino community because of my dark skin. Latinos speak to me in English, thinking that because of my dark complexion and my natural kinky hair I might be African American, Haitian, Jamaican or something else but not Latina.
When I moved to Miami I came embracing all of my Caribbean culture. Music, dance and colorful garments were part of my identity, but when I started noticing how the Latinos and white people around me rejected, feared and ignored black Americans, I felt the need -it was an urge- to change the way I look. I started wearing more dark tone clothes, I stop using bold jewelry, I started to ignore and reject and fear the people who looked like me, but weren’t Latinos like me. I felt the urge to be more ‘sophisticated’ more calm and less ‘over the top’ so people could noticed at first sight I wasn’t part of ‘that’ of what they feared so much.
I don’t feel the urge of change or prove what I’m not. But I still not feel welcome from either group, I feel that Latinos are more racists than any other groups, I don’t try to belong to the African American community neither to the Latino community that doesn’t embrace people that look like me. Nowadays I don’t try to be anything else but who I’m: a black Puertorrican living in the States.
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