I’m A Black Mother Not Monster

md71Anonymous,
Eden Praire, MN.

Prejudice robbed me of my child. 15 years ago my only living child was stolen from me by her white daddy and took overseas when she was 6 because I didn’t live up to his standards of what he thought was a good mother. To keep her away from me he played the race card and said what he had done was right, because according to him all black mothers in the United States are abusive and crazy and can’t take care of their children just used them for a source of income. The courts sided with him without even bothering to investigate what kind of person I am.

When I went to the police here in the US to report my child missing I was basically laughed out of the place, denied any help,and told that I didn’t have a right to complain about having my child stolen, because if I hadn’t been sleeping with foreigners and sitting on my a** collecting welfare instead of taking care of my little half breed it would’ve never happened. All I wanted was my only living child back and everywhere I turned doors were slammed in my face. I wasn’t a mother in the eyes of the law. I was worthless as anything except being the emotionless vessel that brought her into this world. My pain and struggles meant nothing.

My lowest point came when my daughter renounced me on the phone shortly after being kidnapped telling me she would never return and I was never her mother. I couldn’t be her mother because I’m black and crazy. She said she had a new mama now. That new mama was her daddy’s white wife. Later I learned that my ex had changed her name behind my back from the “black ghetto” name I gave her when she was born to something ‘normal’. He was Hell bent on destroying her black side and the courts let him do whatever he wanted. I fell into a deep depression for a long time afterwards, because I couldn’t come to terms with how I was being treated as a nobody even by my own country which I served proudly for 12 years in the Army. A very good friend of mine finally helped me to come to terms with it. He said “White is ALWAYS going to be right and it don’t matter none how great your black self is. People will ALWAYS see you as a worthless n*****. The only bright spot of this that your child will never experience the hate and prejudice that your black skin caused you.” No my child will never know what it means to be black and I guess that’s a blessing in disguise, but I if I could tell her just one thing it would be to never forget her black mother and grandmother who loved her first and sacrificed so much so she could have. I’m not a monster I’m a mother. Maybe not the best, made a lot of mistakes along the way, but my black skin doesn’t mean I love my child any less or ever deserved to have her ripped away by prejudice.


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