He didn’t come to our wedding.
Timothy Houston,
Kansas City, MO
I will let the words speak for themselves.
Racism is part of our DNA
Russ Becker,
Durango, CO
My cousin, who grew up on a farm in central Indiana, was a farmer and an exceptionally nice guy. In his thirties he started dating a lovely gal who also grew up on a farm nearby. After several years of dating they developed a deep love for one another and decided to get married. Upon announcing their plans to her father, he became incensed and forbid his daughter from marrying my cousin. Although my cousin was also a Christian, he was not a Baptist. They honored her father’s wishes and separated. Six years later the father passed away. Shortly thereafter my cousin reunited with his girlfriend, and he married the love of his life.
That is a white Jewish name
Sonja,
East Cleveland, OH
My children are not biracial and their last name is Cohen. However their great great grandfather who married a black woman was white and Jewish
I’m a multicultural “Air Force Brat”
Sherryl Weston,
Vallejo, CA
I am lucky enough to know my multiracial -by marriage back in the 1800s and growing. My mother lives on the family’s FREE N.J. Underground Railroad heritage land and my international life created my multi-faceted self. I am married to a Chicano. My autobiography “American-born Foreigner: A Black Woman’s Story ” explains it all!
Our marriage, leap of faith, worked.
John Collinge,
Bethesda, MD
Zandra and I met in June 1978 as new Foreign Service Officers. Neither of us had dated interracially, we had to work thru issues of unintended insensitive and trust including her mother’s well founded distrust of the white world. We corresponded for most of our courtship she from Argentina, then Spain, me from Pakistan, then Sudan. Married in September 1981.
A letter that she wrote me in early 1981 reflects how hard she grappled with whether to marry. Her career and her independence were her life. They were vital to her sense of herself. After what I believe was a lot of hard thought Zandra wrote she decided that in me she had found a partner who understood her sense of self worth and would respect her independence. I believe I honored that trust.
One night in a Rome rendezvous Zandra sat me down and asked if I wanted to go thru with marriage. She shared, as she had in Washington, her fears that marrying her would blight my career. I told her I didn’t believe that and it didn’t matter. So far as I know I never suffered racism for my decision. I don’t think Zandra suffered professional racism either by our marriage. But she did suffer from being professionally under appreciated and slighted. I believe that was because of race. Certainly Zandra believed it and I never saw reason to question her judgment and her feelings. I did my best to understand and support.
I think that we succeeded in having a marriage of equals that completed and strengthened each. I lost her after a long illness to complications of dementia in February 2023. She was the love of my life and made me a better person.
I think that we succeeded in having a marriage of equals.
“How does one become a Patel?”
Allison Patel,
North Chesterfield, VA
My boss’s boss’s boss asked me this question at a big event where I was introduced in a place of honor. He thought it strange that a white woman would have an Indian last name.
Thank you Richard and Mildred Loving
Sharon Holley
Columbus, OH
Without the sacrifices of the Lovings, I may not have been able to marry the person I love.
Have you found a man, yet?
Kaitlyn Brumbaugh,
Mount Holly Springs, PA
As a woman, my family makes it seem like my entire future depends on if I am in a relationship and get married. However, I am worth more than my relationship status.
White boy marries black girl early…
Fugen Tom Pitner,
Boulder, CO
Knowing what I know now, my only regret is that we married too soon. My first wife continues to occupy a loving & honored space in my Heart. Always has, always will!
White trash married to black man
Tamera, Evans,
GA.
I still hear this comment from people even after being in a 32 year long loving marriage, having 3 children, and 5 grandchildren. I have heard that comment or a similar one from whites and blacks and that is truly sad to me. Love has no color boundaries in my eyes and love will always win over hate.
My spouse is a black man
Thomas C. Hofstra,
Los Angeles, CA.
My spouses six words are “I try to understand our world”
Grandparents couldn’t have had our marriage
Rachel Devenish Ford,
Submitted via Twitter: @journeymama
Where did you meet your wife?
Brian Comerford
Aurora, CO
I notice when many husbands are asked a similar question, the word “where” is substituted with “how”; my impression is that because I am a white Anglo male married to a Southeast Asian woman with a foreign accent, the question is actually front-loaded with curiosity about whether or not we were united through sexual tourism. It probably doesn’t help that even though we’re three years apart in age, my wife looks 10-years my junior, further feeding a bias – sadly – that “some men simply go wife-shopping”, particularly in third-world countries.
Marrying a white Hispanic isn’t mixing
Mary
Spain
I’m married to a dark haired dark eyed white skinned Spanish speaking man of pure European descent. He is Spanish. We live in Spain! When many of my American friends comment on our biracial marriage or our children being mixed I want to correct them but feel that by doing so i’ll come across racist. They assume since he speaks Spanish he must have some native South American blood flowing through him. It’s an especially conflicting situation when those who truly are in biracial marriages invite me to ‘share’ in the experience. I guess being in a mono racial marriage that is so often mistaken as biracial almost qualifies me to be part of the club.
While I don’t want to offend anyone by telling them “I’m NOT in a biracial marriage,” I also want to clear up some misinformation. Spaniard are a white–European!
It’s like if someone keeps calling me Ashley. I have nothing against people named Ashley, but I’m not one of them!
Parents’ interracial marriage seems selfish sometimes
Anonymous,
Santa Cruz, CA
I’m tired of my bi-racial experience being used as proof of progress… Sometimes I think my parents were selfish to have kids and then act like everything would be fine. There are still unequal power dynamics, still racism in their relationship, and they wonder why their kids are insecure and damaged. Kids should never feel ashamed to be in public with a parent or hate themselves for being racially “other,” but sadly this is common amongst many biracial youth I know.
