Fear and reconciliation: oil and water

Dirk Elting,
Honolulu, HI.

People cannot reconcile their differences when they do not feel safe. We scare (and anger) one another not only through our acts, but through our criticism, defensiveness, stonewalling and contempt. What psychologist John Gottman has shown to be true for couples, I believe to be true for race relations. I have no answers for how race cards can be replaced with constructive dialogue. But I am sure that “fear and reconciliation” mix as well as “oil and water.”


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