Javiera,
San Diego, CA.
My husband often jokes that I’m not “brown” because my light skin makes me look like an average white person. But growing up in rural Missouri, I never felt like a “white” person because I was teased for my hispanic features. I’m not mixed race and was born in a Latinx country, yet somehow feel like I have a foot in both worlds since I lived in the US my whole life. I feel like white people and hispanics want me to choose a team, but being hispanic is more complicated than that; I’m technically both. Despite being percieved as white by some, I have felt discrimination and rejection for being hispanic.
I feel even more conflicted when I think about the children I will eventually have with my white husband. I feel guilty that I’m glad his/her features will most likely be white enough that he/she will not experience discrimination. I’m also sad that because my child will look white he/she won’t feel the connection to a hispanic heritage, and he/she may even feel like an outsider when around other hispanics.
