Go back to the country you’re from!

Belsy Montufar,
Lake Forest, CA

As a Hispanic myself, there have been multiple instances in which I have felt too white to be Hispanic, and too Hispanic to be white. Finding your bicultural identity when you feel this way is extremely hard. One day my classmates are pointing out that my English is “too perfect” for someone who is Hispanic, and the next, a family member is calling me white washed because I am struggling to form a sentence in Spanish. Everyone around me speaks Spanish, I should know better!

When comments like these come about, I am quick to ignore them. They’re my friends and family after all, right? They don’t mean it.
The truth is, they do mean it, and in the past this would not bother me, but now, I won’t let it slide.

People out on the streets are always assuming where I’m from. Why does it anger me when these people start assuming I’m anything except what I truly am? (Guatemalan) Or when white men start yelling across the street, “Go back to where you came from!” I was born here, what do they mean go back to where you came from?

I have allowed myself to feel stuck time after time trying to be what everyone else wanted me to be, but if I’m being honest I am tired. Today I am the proud daughter of immigrant parents with perfect English. The next time someone assumes where I am from I will be sure to tell them I am Guatemalan-American. A Guatemalan-American carrying a sense of purpose and one that is so proud to be where she is from. One that refuses to be forced to pick if she’s gonna be more Hispanic or more white for the day.


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